ABCs of Alcohol

A month ago, while I was still just working in the town office, I came across a pamphlet titled "The ABCs of Alcohol." Intrigued at the idea that a.) one could think up of something to say about alcohol using every letter of the alphabet and b.) that there might be some funny Engrish inside, I took it home with me and typed out each of the key sentences.  Surprisingly, most of them are pretty clever and use correct English.  This isn't a real blog post about the going-ons in my life, but I thought you might enjoy seeing it anyway.  Not all of them are funny, but some of them, like the entry for H, W, Y, and Z, warrant a chuckle at least...

ABCs of Alcohol (お酒と健康:ABC辞典）

Alcohol is a lifelong friend of man.

As alcohol concentration in blood increases, your response to stimuli decreases markedly.

Healthy people eliminate alcohol at a constant rate.

Physical reactions to alcohol are different from person to person.

Enjoy good beer, and feel like a king.

Gulping liquor in a fluster is dangerous.

Good drinkers do not drink more than the stomach can handle.

Hangover spoil your morning.

Eat while you are drinking.  The ingestion of food can slow down the absorption of alcohol. 

The "J curve" shows the right amount of alcoholic intake.  

A key to good health is to enjoy the right amount of alcohol.

Drinking moderately gives you a happy life

Misunderstandings hamper alcoholics form controlling their drinking.

If you are a nonstop drinker, you are one hundred percent alcoholic.  

Alcoholism can be cured by correcting obsolete, incorrect information.

Pregnant women should realize their pre-born children are also underaged. 

Qualm and worry trigger alcoholism in women.

Solitude after retirement triggers alcoholism.  

Good drinkers know hot to eliminate stress.

Drinking alcohol is a taboo in some countries.

Underage drinking is prohibited because it dose harm to youngsters' growth.

Drunken driving leaves a lot of victims in its wake.

Man and alcohol have created a wonderful beverage culture.

Wine and cheese are indispensable for Xmas dinner.

"Yum Yum" describes dishes prepared with love. 

Euphoria reaches a zenith as alcohol reduces tension and enhances relaxation.